Come in, that is, unless you’re wearing crocs; breathing really heavily; have chosen to sit directly next to us when there are like 30 seats available; if you’re wearing one of those stupid hands-free headsets that make us think you are talking to us, and then you act like WE are the dickheads for not seeing the two inches of fucking plastic hanging off your ear; if you’ve ever referred to yourself as a ‘yummy mummy’, or if you do any of the other million things that piss us off, like talking, consistently maintaining a pulse, or being Chad Kroeger.
What you have to understand is, this isn’t a particularly forgiving place. It’s something of an elephants graveyard of all of the things that have really ground our gears over our increasingly not-so-short years on the planet. And there are a lot of those things, because the world is an annoying place. Welcome to our treasure trove of tactlessness. Our itinerary of irritation. The vent for our vexation. A place in which we have tagged the twats and collated the cunts for our amusement, yours be damned. Here you will find a laundry list of everything that we hate. From advertising to small talk, from Facebook to herbal medicines. It’s a long list. We hate fucking everything, and that’s how we like it.
Hopefully some of this cynical, angry, jaded world-view based on being unreasonably angry at incredibly petty things will rub off on you, and you’ll be back before you know it. The more the ..miserable…er?
So take a load off, traveler. Take a load off just long enough to make our website hits go up, and then fuck off.
Let the bitterness commence…
- Kevin Sanders & Sean Johnston